It’s a throwdown happening as if in stealth mode, but happening it is: We’re talkin’ ’bout Brooklyn vs. Long Island, and to the victor go some pretty awesome spoils.

Let’s get something out of the way right now: Brooklyn owns pizza. On that score, the borough is untouchable. But Long Island has epic elbow room, which makes the place that birthed the ‘burbs luxurious.

Does anyone flock to Brooklyn? Seriously. We’re asking.

And that means Brooklyn, as well as Manhattan, Queens, the Bronx and most of Staten Island, too, can pretty much pound sand if any of them think they’re better simply because they’re taller. We say that with love.

Hey, we can bring Brooklyn pizza here, but Brooklyn can’t take our personal space.

Now that that’s squared away, let’s take a closer look at what’s developed in the 495/I-278 rivalry.

Bklyn vs. LI Throwdown

BROOKLYN: Be it ever so humble, the Brooklyn hot dog is a beautiful thing. It’s the kind of stuff that inspires a cult following, and it’s as American as all get out.

Blue Points on ice -
SOUND PROOF: Blue Points on ice

LONG ISLAND: The only way to counter Brooklyn’s dog dominance is to head into Long Island Sound and come out with some — BOOYAH! — Blue Point oysters. We’re classy that way.

BROOKLYN: Again, it’s about dough. This is the home of the rainbow bagel, which spawned such a rage it’s given way to rainbow everything else, including bread, macaroons and pinwheel cookies, but there’s still a wait list for the original rainbow creation coming out of 349 Bedford Avenue.

Brooklyn's golden doughnut
FOOD OF THE GODS: Brooklyn’s golden dough

There’s also a $100 doughnut that takes the everyday to a new level. Made with gold and champagne, and yam, this prize comes out of the Manila Social Club and rumor has it, it’s well worth the price.

LONG ISLAND: Here, we’re styling with a $100 cupcake that’s sexy and refined. Called Hamptons Gold, it’s a 24-karat gold covered champagne cake, taken a notch higher on the yummy scale with local, organic, in-season fruit filling.

The $100 cupcake looks like a million -
HOT CAKES: The $100 cupcake looks like a million

Hamptons Gold has known to create cupcake stalkers on the East End. It’s part of the famous Long Island Cupcake Collection, which includes the Montauk, the Ocean Bay, the North Fork and, well, an assortment of iconic locales where New Yorkers flock to get away from it all.

Does anyone flock to Brooklyn? Seriously. We’re asking.

BROOKLYN: Here, craft beer abounds. They even have a festival. And an A-Z Guide. Oh brother, this is hardcore for die-hards. You got a problem with that?

Wine Country. We own it. -
CHEERS: Wine country. We own it.

LONG ISLAND: Call us the land of grape expectations. With more than 40 vineyards, Long Island wine can hold its own against what’s produced in the whole state of California.

All things now considered, we’re hungry. Thirsty, too.